Saturday, March 21, 2009

I Did Not Watch the Watchmen

I spent three hours of today hiding under a coat in an IMAX movie theater. Thank you, Watchmen! Seriously: did not know there were that many places a person could bleed from. Also: did not know there were that many uses for a miter saw.

Choice lines:

"Oh my God. I'm on Mars."

"Is this bean juice?"
"Human BEING juice."

"I don't mind being the smartest man in the world!"

In the past month or so, I've made peanut butter and jelly and popcorn (with hot oil), gchatted, trimmed my bangs, and generally made a mess of my apartment -- all while completely asleep. I should not have allowed myself to think that things couldn't get any stranger because the second I believed that, last night, they did, and it freaked me the motherfuck out. It's weird to try to talk about it. My knee jerk reaction is to spin anything vaguely sad or difficult or tragic or even just annoying into the funniest anecdote possible, which immediately makes it into a story, not something that's actually happening to me.

The truth of the matter is that I think about and contend with things on a daily basis that are not what I had planned for myself, and that's almost always harder than I care to admit and almost never as funny as I spin it. I told a friend that tonight and she said back, so gently, "I know. But we all just try. You're trying."

Anyway. Tonight I'm falling (peacefully. please.) asleep to "Dream Operator," with thanks to Byrne and Eno and Some Guy on Youtube. I want to curl up inside this song.

PS, Human BEING juice? REALLY?


  1. Oh my goodness, Lauren! How incredible to hear from you! I think about you EVERY day when I make Jack's bed and put his sock monkey on his pillow. I wonder how you are, where you are, and I pray for you.

    Thank you SO much for your comment. It means the world to me. I hope you don't mind if I bookmark you and follow your new blog. I'm sorry you've recently lost a job . . .

  2. i love you, lo!!!! chat soon, much to say :)